A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning

The web page you are currently browsing contains an extremely regrettable fan-made experience, a cliché phrase that here means "a discomforting point-and-click adventure game made by disturbed readers of my book, The Bad Beginning." To call it a "tribute" would be such a distressing misuse of the word "tribute" that I would be forced to rip the entire "T" section out of every dictionary I have with me in this subterranean meat freezer which I am sending this message from, weeping bitterly all the while.

This fangame contains such features as gruesome graphics depicting villainous people, locations, and events; a tale of terrible tragedy in the lives of three orphans; a morose musical soundtrack; and truly pernicious puzzles.

I don't know why anyone would put effort into creating such a horrible fangame, and I certainly don't know why you might be considering downloading it at this very moment. My recommendation would be to browse away from this page immediately, and to fill your days instead with watching videos of cute kittens or dancing lobsters, so that you need not know what takes place in this dreadful depiction of a series of unfortunate events.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

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• Development time: Summer 2006 through fall 2007 (age 16-17)
• Tools I used: SLUDGE